Neurodiversity - a gift?

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10

In 2023 I discovered one of the gifts God designed and entrusted to me - autism. The unwrapping of this gift has taken time, but little by little I have begun to learn how to use it.

There are many downsides to being neurodivergent (the inconvenience of needing detailed explanations, the lack of automaticity, the pressure to keep up - or at least show determined effort, the anxiety and frustration of falling short AGAIN, the self-awareness that while there can be growth, there will always be struggle, the knowledge that most people will not understand the struggle, even if they are sympathetic. And this is not a comprehensive list). With all this against me it is tempting to think I have nothing to celebrate about and very little  useful to contribute. But I have been a child of God for 35 years and know differently.

So... how is my autism God's gift to me? to others? Having a unique perspective (a differently wired brain) does not often feel like a gift - just lonely and awkward. But I do know some ways that having autism has been a gift to me. Particularly, I have become more deeply relational with my Heavenly Father.

Colossians 1:9 says in part that the Apostle Paul wanted his readers to be "Filled with the knowledge of [God's] will, in all wisdom and spiritual understanding." On a daily basis, my lack of intuitiveness contributes to missing nonverbal communication, lagging response time when a situation needs to be dealt with, and lack of understanding of nuances. These are physiological and mental challenges related to my autism - challenges that will not go away with time. But Paul's words encourage me that, as a child of God, my life in Christ supersedes the "natural" challenges. I can be filled with the knowledge of GOD'S will in moments where my own intuition is lacking. I can pray, "Lord, how do YOU want me to respond in this situation?" I have been witness on several occasions to God giving me profound insight in the moment, or quick response times  - instances that others have affirmed my response was directed by God. Similarly, when I am in social situations and not understanding nuances, instead of having a fear-based mentality of following social "rules," I can pray and ask God, "How can I love this person well in this moment?" This awareness of my need for "nudges" from the Holy Spirit, as well as the instant answers to prayer in those moments, tells me that God cares deeply about being personally invested and intentionally involved in my "everyday life." This definitely can be understood  and received as a gift. 

Like all of God's gifts, the benefits of my autism need to extend to others. One way my brain is wired is with the ability to memorize Scripture easily. Having a ready answer of encouragement to anyone I speak with is a way to use my gift. Also, others have told me my knowledge and skills in music are gifts from the Lord. One of my favorite things to do is play soothing hymns on my viola, and I accompany congregational worship at my church. Also through this blog, I can share not just challenges, but encouragement. This, too, is a way to "use the gift I received as a faithful steward of God's grace in various forms."

Do I get overwhelmed at times from the challenges of my autism? Yes. Have I seen ways my autism can be a gift, and not merely a frustration? Absolutely! I pray God is honored in my life through the gift of neurodiversity.